So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
