Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
