She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
