I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize