New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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