the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
this hospital has no fireball
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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