That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
