Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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