Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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