And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
