I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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