i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
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