So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
