Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
