hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
