i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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