I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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