Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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