Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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