I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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