does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
