They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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