I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize