Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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