he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
