My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
