Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
