My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
