babies were throwing up all over the place
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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