i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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