I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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