Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
