She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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