Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
