the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
