I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
people are starting to question the shark bite story
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
