she's into porn, im staying here tonight
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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