fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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