Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
