just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
