I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize