currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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