at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
can u get pink eye on your cock?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize