watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
