That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
