In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
