i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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