i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
