so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
