Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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