You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
