He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
