Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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