I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
