you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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