I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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