Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
