so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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