that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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