This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize