I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Is this like a preordered booty call?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
